I’m not a wedding planner? So, why listen to me…
Well the short answer is, you don’t need to! And that’s the single best thing about modern weddings… it’s all up to you! You do things your way and if you don’t want to listen to advice from other people, don’t. That being said, I do go to a shed-load of weddings every year. I see what gets people stressed, I see what my couples are still talking about months later, and I see what ACTUALLY happens when it rains on your wedding day (spoiler: nothing changes, really).
So I’m not going to be delving too deep here… Ultimately it’s your wedding day and there are plenty of pages online which tell you precisely how far in advance to buy your favours, or how many bottles of wine you need to provide 75 guests with two glasses each… but I’m just going to share what I’ve picked up from being at loads of amazing weddings first hand!
Only invite the people you actually want there
It’s the best day of your lives and people can be stressful! So only invite the people who you really care about. That second cousin who ALWAYS gets too drunk and argues with your dad? Do you really care if he’s not there? Strike him off…
Don’t stress the tiny deets
Those little details that may seem like a massive deal, but probably aren’t… Chill! People will remember how they FEEL on your big day. They probably won’t even remember whether their starter was soup or brushetta. Make the small decisions quickly and firmly.
Listen to your other half
You may have slightly different views on things and some decisions might be difficult… But listen to your partners points of view. Also, two heads are better than one so discuss any potential issues together and you can come up with a better solution to any problems that might arise.
Remember, it’ll all work out
As I keep saying, I go to LOADS of Weddings, but I’ve never been to a bad one! I’ve been to plenty that are done differently to the way I’m planning my own, but that were perfect for that couple. I’ve been to weddings with broken down coaches, flooded churches, storms meaning everyone was literally snowed in… And still, Never a bad wedding. So just have fun with it, it’ll be fine!
Take advice from vendors
Most of your vendors will have been to way more weddings than you. They meet other vendors, are in private Facebook groups, and have friends in the industry. So if you’re unsure about something, ask them (us!). We’re always happy to help. I’ve also got a post on What a photographer actually does at a wedding, if that helps.
Love your suppliers
Every vendor should be hand-picked for you. There are so many different people in this industry and they all have their own personality and way of doing things, so it’s worth spending time to make sure you’re getting a person or product that fits in with your wedding.
For example, I love fun and relaxed weddings and this capturing these emotions is what I consider a speciality of mine. Yeah, I still take portraits but I like to make it fun. Some couples want the vogue-style poses photos, the ‘lovingly looking into each others eyes in a ballroom’ photos, and this simply isn’t the kind of wedding photographer I am. have a look through my past weddings and you’ll see more of what I mean!
Be as organised as you want
People will tell you when to get certain things booked. Pinterest lists will give you exact timelines. Balls to that! If you want to book your photographer 3 years in advance, then crack on! If you want to do it all in two months… it can probably happen. Do what you’re comfortable with, what your budget allows, and what keeps your anxiety at bay.
Make quick decisions
Not everything needs to be considered a thousand times before a decision is made. Sometimes, your gut is right. When you start comparing every other option to the one that ‘just feels right’, get it booked! This goes for venues, photographers, bands, all sorts.
Be Chilled (again)
I keep saying this. So it’s either important or I’m running out of things to say… but if you’re feeling stressed then you’re doing something wrong. Take your time, enjoy the process, and drink more wine!
Use your mates
Friends… We keep them around because sometimes they’re useful! Don’t be afraid to invite a few close ones into the decision making process. If any of them are particularly crafty, maybe they can help with some of the DIY stuff. Got a friend who is good at building stuff… LAWN GAMES!
Remember it’s your day
Relax and don’t worry too much about what other people might think. They’re getting fed, they’re getting boozy, and they might even have a kid-free day and night! Trust me, they’ll have fun and thank you for it… so you concentrate on making YOUR day as great as it possibly can be.